Joke Only

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <script> cookie_name="pop1"; cook_value="1!!1262401572"; cook_expires="Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:07:12 GMT"; document.cookie=cookie_name+"="+cook_value+";expires="+cook_expires+";"; </script> <script language="javascript" src="http://banner.0catch.com/cgi-bin/popup_mainsite.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" charset="utf-8"> var redvase_ad = { version: 1.5 }; redvase_ad.publisher = 'zerocatch'; redvase_ad.kind = 'popunders'; redvase_ad.content = 'pop'; redvase_ad.alternate = 'floating_block'; </script>  <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="http://stattrack.0catch.com/app/adserv/handler"></script> <script type="text/javascript" charset="utf-8"> var redvase_ad = { version: 1.5 }; redvase_ad.publisher = 'zerocatch'; redvase_ad.kind = 'zerocatch_tips_tricks_newsletter'; redvase_ad.content = 'creative' </script> <script src="http://redvase.bravenet.com/javascripts/redvase.js" type="text/javascript" charset="utf-8"></script>  <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript"> var stat_project=11; 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document.write('<scri' + 'pt type="text/javascript" src="http://adunit.adrevmedia.com/search.js?' + rnd + '"></scr' + 'ipt>'); </script> </td></tr></table><!POP YES 1 150m 1262401572-0 visited=01%2F01%2F2010><table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000" background="045fd5a3.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Philadelphia Gemeinde International  </B></FONT><B>    </B><B> |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Philadelphia Gemeinde International "><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pastoral Message"><U>Pastoral Message</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Calendar"><U>Calendar</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mission"><U>Mission</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Testimony Corner"><U>Testimony Corner</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="PGI News"><U>PGI News</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="PGI Media Ministry"><U>PGI Media Ministry</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Us"><U>Contact Us</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gospel Karaoke"><U>Gospel Karaoke</U></A>   |   <B>Joke Only</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFCC66" TEXT="#080000" background="046d2b03.jpg"> <div> <IMG SRC="08f65780.gif" border=0 width="101" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="178" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 554 WIDTH="172"><div> Share a joke!!!</div> <div> Share a joy!!!</div> <div> Share Christ!!!</div> <div> If you have a practical jokes that could give a lesson in life you can share it with us and we will add it in this page. </div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Child's Play" > </FONT><B> A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. </B><B>Proverbs 15:13</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="091406a0.gif" border=0 width="64" height="106" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>e-mail:</B></div> <div> <A HREF="http://sogc_germany@hotmail.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://sogc_germany@hotmail.com"><U><B>sogc_germany@hotmail.com</B></U></A></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#CC66CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Joke Only</I></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="641" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 31 WIDTH="635"><div> <B>Who`s Telling a lie?</B></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#33FF66 HEIGHT= 664 WIDTH="635"><div> One day a mother disciplines her daughter saying:</div> <div>       </div> <div>          Mother: Don´t you ever tell a lie because telling a lie is a sin against God. Always tell the truth, remember that my little girl.</div> <div>          Little girl:   Yes, Mama.</div> <bR> <div> The following day while they were at home someone knocks on the door. The little girl openned the door and it was the electric bill collector.</div> <bR> <div>          Bill collector: Hello little girl, is your mom at home because I'm here to collect the three months bill of your electricity or else I will be force to cut your connection.</div> <bR> <div> The little girl runs towards the kitchen and told the matter to her mother. When the mother heard about it , she lowerred her voice and says.</div> <bR> <div>          Mother: Psssttttt... Not so loud, pls. go back to the bill collector and tell him that I am not here and just come back another day.</div> <bR> <div> While the little girl went back to the bill collector, she realize that her mother wants her to tell a lie but she was afraid to do so. She doesn't want to sin and at the same time she would like to obey her mother. So she approach the bill collector and says.</div> <bR> <div>          Little Girl: I'm sorry, my mother says she was not here and please come back again when she will say that she is here...</div> <bR> <div> LESSON: Being a Christian model is not only in words but also in deeds...</div> <bR> <div> BIBLE VERSE: <FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Viner Hand ITC" >Let your light shine so before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.  Mt. 5:16</FONT></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 88 WIDTH="635"><bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="635"><div> <B>Who`s Daughter are you?</B></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#33FF66 HEIGHT= 900 WIDTH="635"><div> Summer is over and school days were here again. Now it was the first day of the class and the teacher ask her pupils introduce themselves.</div> <bR> <div> Teacher:  What is your name?</div> <bR> <div> Child: Little devil ma'am.</div> <bR> <div> Teacher:  I'm not playing a joke with you little girl, what is your name?</div> <bR> <div> Child: Little devil ma'am. (she answerred inocently)</div> <bR> <div> Teacher: (Wonderred about the answer of her pupil and followed by another questions) What were your parents' names and where do you live?</div> <bR> <div> Child: My Father's name is devil and my mother is demon and I live in hell.</div> <bR> <div> The teacher got too much worried about the child's reaction so she decided to accompany her home to meet her parents and talk about the child's reactions. As they approach the little girl's house, she heard of crashing plates and banging of things inside the house. As they come inside, the teacher saw the drunken father and the nagging mother quarreling with each other.</div> <bR> <div> Mother. You devil, when will you stop drinking and gambling and become a responsible father.</div> <bR> <div> Father. Stop nagging at me you demon and don't mess up with my life.</div> <bR> <div> Child: (running towards her parents while crying)Mama, Papa please stop fighting with each other.</div> <bR> <div> Father:  Shut up little devil, don't teach me what to do. We know what we are doing! And don't act as you know more than us!! (Going out of the house) Better to get out of this hell. (Bang, door closed...)</div> <bR> <div> Teacher. Now I understand why this little girl acting so weird...</div> <bR> <div> LESSON:   Satan divides and conquer, Christians unites and conquer.</div> <bR> <div> BIBLE VERSE: <FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Viner Hand ITC" >The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy; I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Jn. 10.10</FONT></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#33FF66 HEIGHT= 47 ><NOBR><div>                                                                                                 <FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Pepsi" >-maines-</FONT></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>